Weapons in MOUSE: P.I. For Hire are not just simple guns with different damage numbers. Every weapon completely changes how fights feel, especially once B.A.N.G. upgrades start unlocking stronger effects, alternate fire modes, and unique utility. Some weapons specialize in crowd clearing, others melt bosses, while a few are designed entirely around control and precision.
After spending time with each weapon, it becomes clear that the game wants players to constantly swap loadouts depending on enemy types, mission layouts, and ammo availability. A weapon that feels weak early can suddenly become incredibly strong once higher-tier upgrades unlock.
This guide covers every currently known weapon, all B.A.N.G. upgrades, and the situations where each weapon performs best.
Micer
The Micer is one of the first reliable firearms players will probably get comfortable with. It works best at mid-range and feels very balanced overall. The weapon is accurate, quick to use, and especially effective against flying enemies or lighter rodent mobs that move too fast for heavier weapons.
Its biggest weakness is the smaller magazine size. During larger fights, reloading frequently can become dangerous if enemies are already surrounding you.
Still, the Micer feels extremely dependable throughout the game because it never becomes completely obsolete.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
The first upgrade immediately improves the weapon in almost every area. Damage increases noticeably, recoil becomes easier to control, and the reduced spread makes shots far more consistent at range.
The Alt-Fire is especially useful because it fires three fast and accurate shots in quick succession. Against weaker enemies, this can delete targets almost instantly before they get close.
Tier Two
Tier Two further improves damage, ammo reserves, and overall handling. At this point, the Micer starts feeling less like a starter weapon and more like a true all-purpose rifle.
Tier Three
The final upgrade maximizes the weapon’s reliability. Higher damage combined with excellent recoil control turns it into one of the safest guns for general gameplay.
Boomstick
The Boomstick is pure close-range destruction.
This shotgun hits extremely hard and sends enemies flying backward on impact. If a group of rodents rushes you in a hallway, the Boomstick can instantly create breathing room.
The downside is obvious though. Accuracy drops heavily at longer ranges, and the recoil kick is enormous.
Still, few weapons feel as satisfying during aggressive close-range fights.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
The first upgrade improves pellet damage significantly and unlocks a powerful slug Alt-Fire.
This slug shot completely changes the weapon because it allows surprisingly strong single-target burst damage at longer distances.
Tier Two
Reload speed becomes much faster here, which is a huge improvement because the default reload feels painfully slow during hectic combat.
Enemy knockback also becomes stronger, making the Boomstick excellent for crowd control.
Tier Three
Pellets gain piercing effects, allowing shots to pass through enemies and damage targets behind them.
Against grouped hordes, this upgrade becomes incredibly deadly.
Devarnisher
The Devarnisher is one of the more unique heavy weapons in the game. Instead of relying on raw bullet damage, it focuses on chemical damage and armor destruction.
Shots leave behind dangerous green puddles that continuously damage enemies over time. Heavily armored enemies become much easier to kill after being exposed to its chemical effects.
This weapon feels strongest during defensive situations where enemies are forced through choke points.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
Damage-over-time effects last longer, and the Alt-Fire launches a sticky acid grenade.
This grenade is incredibly useful against groups because it creates large AoE explosions while spreading additional chemical damage everywhere.
Tier Two
Projectile velocity increases significantly, reducing the weapon’s heavy arc trajectory.
This makes aiming much easier, especially against moving enemies.
Tier Three
Additional melting projectiles are added to every shot.
At this point, armored enemies and shield users basically lose their defensive advantage entirely.
James Gun
The James Gun is essentially the game’s bullet hose weapon.
It fires extremely fast and excels at suppressing crowds, but the vertical recoil becomes intense if you simply hold the trigger nonstop.
Once mastered though, it absolutely shreds enemy waves.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
Vertical recoil becomes more stable, making sustained fire far easier to control.
The Alt-Fire is completely insane in the best way possible because it dumps the entire magazine at an absurd fire rate.
It burns through ammo quickly but absolutely melts enemies.
Tier Two
The drum magazine size increases heavily along with ammo capacity.
This upgrade massively improves the weapon because reloading becomes less frequent during large fights.
Tier Three
Raw damage increases dramatically.
At maximum upgrades, the James Gun becomes one of the strongest boss-killing weapons in the game.
Loose Cannon
The Loose Cannon is built entirely around explosive devastation.
Every shot deals massive damage, and direct hits feel incredibly powerful against tougher enemies. The downside is the extremely slow reload speed.
Missing shots with this weapon feels painful, especially during fast encounters.
Still, when used correctly, very few weapons can match its raw destructive power.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
The explosion radius becomes larger, and the Alt-Fire launches charged shrapnel shots.
These explosive shrapnel blasts are amazing for area denial and controlling larger enemy groups.
Tier Two
Reload speed receives a massive improvement.
Honestly, this upgrade feels almost mandatory because the base reload is brutally slow.
Tier Three
Cannonballs now split into cluster explosives after impact.
Against packed hordes, this turns the Loose Cannon into complete chaos.
Kiss Kiss
Kiss Kiss is an elemental rifle focused on burning damage and crowd clearing.
Instead of instantly deleting enemies, it spreads fire damage across groups and slowly overwhelms entire waves.
It performs especially well in narrow corridors or choke points where enemies bunch together.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
Direct impact damage increases, while the Alt-Fire launches a powerful explosive fire round.
This creates huge splash damage and spreads flames across multiple enemies instantly.
Tier Two
Fire rate improves alongside ammo reserves.
The weapon starts feeling much smoother and more aggressive during extended fights.
Tier Three
Regular shots permanently inflict burning effects that spread to nearby enemies.
Once fully upgraded, entire crowds can ignite from only a few shots.
Jar-Head
Jar-Head is the precision weapon of the arsenal.
It fires slowly but delivers accurate high-damage shots alongside strong stun effects. Players who enjoy careful aiming and picking targets from long range will probably love this weapon.
It rewards patience and precision rather than aggressive spraying.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
Enemy stun duration becomes longer, and the Alt-Fire activates a precise sniper laser.
This laser is incredibly accurate and excellent for eliminating dangerous targets before they reach your position.
Tier Two
Weapon sway disappears almost entirely, and recoil becomes much easier to manage.
Long-range aiming feels incredibly smooth after this upgrade.
Tier Three
Critical hit damage increases heavily.
Headshots with the laser can trigger instant enemy explosions, making skilled shots extremely rewarding.
Portable Freezer
The Portable Freezer is less about damage and more about battlefield control.
Freezing enemies in place completely changes the pacing of fights because it allows teammates to safely reposition or focus tougher targets.
This weapon shines in co-op situations where crowd control becomes essential.
B.A.N.G. Upgrades
Tier One
Freeze buildup becomes much faster, and the Alt-Fire launches a freezing rocket.
This creates a large AoE freeze explosion capable of stopping entire enemy groups instantly.
Tier Two
Cryogenic battery capacity and total ammo both increase.
Longer freezing uptime makes the weapon far more reliable during extended missions.
Tier Three
The weapon unlocks Shatter-Execute.
Fully frozen enemies can now be shattered instantly with a kick, which feels incredibly satisfying during combat.
D-namite
D-namite is a throwable explosive designed for clearing groups of enemies and breaking defensive structures.
It deals strong area damage and is especially useful against shielded enemies hiding behind cover.
The weapon also has environmental utility because it can destroy cracked walls during missions.
That extra exploration value makes it useful even outside combat.
Hellrazor
Hellrazor is one of the most aggressive weapons currently available.
This melee weapon attacks extremely quickly and tears through nearby enemies with brutal shredding damage. During crowded fights, it can carve through hordes surprisingly fast.
Of course, the danger comes from needing to stay close to enemies constantly.
Still, for players who enjoy high-risk aggressive gameplay, Hellrazor feels incredibly fun.
X1 D-Mousifier
The X1 D-Mousifier is basically the game’s secret sci-fi super weapon.
Unlocked through the Prize D-Spenser for 20 tokens, this ray gun fires highly accurate elemental energy shots capable of instantly deleting standard enemies.
Ammo is extremely limited, which prevents it from becoming overpowered, but every shot feels devastating.
Against regular grunt enemies, it almost feels unfair.
The weapon’s precision also makes it excellent for conserving ammo during high-pressure encounters.
MOUSE: P.I. For Hire Weapons Tier List – Best Weapons
While every weapon has strengths, some clearly stand out depending on playstyle.
Best Crowd Control
- Portable Freezer
- Kiss Kiss
- James Gun
These weapons dominate larger enemy groups and help control chaotic fights.
Best Boss Damage
- Loose Cannon
- James Gun
- Boomstick
All three weapons can deal massive burst damage when upgraded properly.
Best Utility
- Devarnisher
- D-namite
- Portable Freezer
These weapons provide utility beyond pure damage, making difficult missions much easier.
The Micer is probably the safest and most beginner-friendly weapon overall because it performs well in almost every situation without requiring complicated mechanics. It may not be the flashiest gun, but it stays useful for a very long time.